The Christian family belongs to two entities: one is the Church or the secret body of Christ and the other is the Egyptian society or the nation.  Each of these has its rights and duties.  The family is the basic unit from which the church and family are formed. 

There is no conflict between those two entities, for Christianity requires us  to  be  good  citizens and commands us to live in uprightness and honesty that will witness to the Christ dwelling in us: "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven" (Mt. 5: 16).  Moreover, Christianity commands us to submit to authorities, confident that God is above all and that "The king's heart is in the hand of the Lord, like the rivers of water; he turns it wherever He wishes" (Prov. 21: 1).  "There is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God" (Rom13: 1)

The Christian family is required to be Christian in reality and not just in name.  It should be firmly united in the  Holy Spirit and with the bonds of love.  It should be concerned with raising the children in the fear of God and  love for all.  Thus the family remains a lovely model of the sanctity and permanence of the Christian marriage and is fit to play its part in the church and the society.

1.  The Relationship with God
This is the first and most essential relationship.  The Christian family sometimes hangs a meaningful motto in the dining room saying: "Christ is the head of this house, the unseen guest at every meal, the silent listener to every conversation."  If the family lives by this motto, it will be transformed into a real church and a holy altar, on which are raised the  offerings of  praise and thanksgiving.

In  the  past,   the   Christian family used to set aside a special place for prayer containing an icon of the Virgin carrying the Lord before which an oil lamp burned symbolizing the Gospel, or candles symbolizing both light and self-sacrificial love.  Prayers were offered daily in front of this chapel which faced east (we suggest it be once in the evening).  The whole family says a short prayer (we suggest the prayer of thanksgiving and Psalm 50: 'Have mercy on me, O God'), followed by a chapter from the Bible to be read by one of  the  sons  or  daughters.   The prayers end with a short prayer, "Have mercy upon us O Lord, have mercy upon us", and the Lord's prayer.

This 'family altar' will keep the Lord watching over us with His love, present in person in the house.  His words will ring in the ears of young and old and will lead to a renewed and quiet repentance.  The prayers will be an opportunity for the Holy Spirit to work in the hearts to renew and sanctify them and guide them to what is good.

This altar will be a chance for the family ties to be strengthened at the spiritual as well as at the emotional level.  Thus the family will not be divided, neither the spouses nor the children, but all will behave with love and in a giving spirit, not in a spirit of egotism.

2. Relationships Within the Family
Educationalists talk about the generation gap and the inability of the parents' generation to understand the psychology    and   circumstances  of their children's generation.  Similarly, young people have difficulty communicating with their parents and imagine that agreement between their generation and their parents' is impossible.  This is natural among people of the world but not among the sons and daughters of God, who have been saved through grace from their stubbornness and selfishness and who have overcome the materialism of the world.  It is easy for them to meet in pleasant intimacy, full of warm affection, devoid of spoiling, and  full  of  firm  guidance   without undue severity.

Keeping a balance  when  giving affection and proffering guidance is essential, not only for the unity of the family but also for well-being of the individuals and their capacity to face life.

There are numerous young families that have been torn apart because there was such a strong emotion between the parents' generation and a son or daughter that it was impossible to  cut the  umbilical cord and unite with the spouse. This strong  affection  between the mother and father and between the newly married wife or husband is not love at all, but only a counterfeit image of love.  It springs from an unwholesome selfishness and self-centeredness, which causes psychological problems for both the young man and the young woman which can develop into an illness.

A mature spiritual love is both necessary and essential so that the young man or woman do not grow up so emotionally deprived that they throw themselves at the first  spurious and excessive emotion they meet.

Spiritual love is essential and emotional love is not sufficient.  Emotional weaning is necessary and a balanced upbringing is vital. How often has there been a disparity between a father's upbringing  and a mother's; one is too severe and the other spoils.  The result is that the son or daughter grows up with a torn psyche which rapidly turns to immoral and unspiritual behavior.

3. Relationships Outside the Family
These must be governed by principles and  must  have limits.  For example, love should exist between a couple and their families, but these must not interfere in their life except to the advantage of the couple and their welfare.  Each partner should allow the other partner to have close ties to his or her family and should himself or herself have close ties with the other partner's family.  The two families, however,  have to keep their distance and not interfere in the life of the new family out of destructive curiosity or morbid affection.  Intervention should only take place if it is to the advantage of the couple, for the newly weds need time to get to know  each  other  and  to become united.  Each needs to give up some habits and pleasures, and during that time there are usually slight differences that can be quickly resolved in a spirit of understanding and Christian love and with the guidance of the older people. But if the parents  interfere,   the differences may grow and the new family may be torn apart.

Outside the family circle, there are relationships with colleagues, friends, and neighbors.  Such relationships also need spiritual   and behavioral rules.  Many problems arise as a result of   entering into such relationships that have no well defined limits.  Erroneous ideas can be brought into the family, an undesirable involvement may occur, or values can be lost. Such are the harmful  results  of   having  a   home without walls.

Visits should be limited and friendships entered into only after suitable vetting.  The friendships of sons and daughters have to be under tender supervision.

Hence, every family must watch over its children in order to be able to   say   to  the  Lord on the last day:  "Here I am and the children whom God has given me" (Heb. 2: 13), because the mothers "will be saved in childbearing if they continue in faith, love, and holiness, with self-control" (1 Tim. 2: 15).  The motto of all should be: "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." (Josh. 24: 15).
 

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